To live a happy, healthy life grounded in wellness, you need to have some very clear non-negotiables. Non-negotiables are those practices, habits, routines and personal characteristics that matter most to you, that support your growth, and that provide a sturdy foundation.
Self-love is your most important non-negotiable. The depth and breadth of your love will shape every choice you make in your life from relationships to career, from friends to where you live, from family dynamics to daily habits. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
When we have low self-regard for ourselves we tend to look outward for direction and instruction about our worth, and about our lovability. If the messaging we get is negative we stay stuck in thought and behavioral patterns that support a story of unworthiness and unlovability. This way of being doesn’t feel good. It can manifest in our lives as anxiety, depression, over-working, over-performing, perfectionism, people pleasing and/or codependency to name just a few.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
When we own our worth and ground in our inherent goodness we are then able to deeply love and accept ourselves. We find peace with the past, contentment in the present and excitement about the future. We begin to care for ourselves in simple and profound ways. A simple gesture of kindness to buy ourselves flowers at the grocery store or a grand act of courage to end a dysfunctional relationship. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Self-love doesn’t always lead to rainbows and sunshine. There are storms and cacophony. It can lead us to make very difficult, scary choices in the short term that will ultimately bring more peace, love and joy in the long run. When we love ourselves we see the big picture. We understand the daily micro choices lead to a life well-lived on a macro scale. The big picture becomes clear, and we value our leading role in it. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Consider tracking your thought and behavioral patterns. Where do they lead you? Is it a shaded path of calm, love, acceptance and compassion or is it a hard road of criticism, anxiety, anger and frustration?
It’s never to late to chart a new course. You are not your past choices. Each day is an opportunity to begin again. Get curious about yourself and your capacity for self-love. Explore. Journal. Reflect. Ask yourself if your daily choices serve your vision of ideal wellness, health and happiness. You deserve it!
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Ashley Logan is a Certified Integrative Health Coach, writer and workshop facilitator who helps women create actionable strategies that support physical, mental, emotional and spiritual wellness for optimal health.
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